This is from a friend of mine’s blog. I spent a long time on my response to him, and I just wanted to share it.
Have you ever questioned the feelings you sometimes get, whenever you’re talking to someone, and something seems off? Have you ever asked yourself..” Why am I flirting with this person?” Would you have ever considered dating the neighborhood “Nerd?” Could you conceive the thought of putting an animal, “out of its misery” If you came accross an animal in distress, and there’s no Vet. Hosp. in sight? Do you think you would look at someone “differently” if they had been in Prison for manslaughter? If Love is so “Indiscriminant” then why does it come with so very many “Criterias?”
All too often do people say the things they don’t mean, just to be “accepted” into a group, or get a “social standing” Because they fear that if they were to answer honestly to any of the questions above, they would’nt be as “accepted” as they wish to be. In short, they become a Social Puppet. They would rather do what those around them consider to be the right thing to do, than what they deep down, know themselves is right to do. People need to realize, that not everyone is the same, and not everyone will do what may be “acceptable” to someone else. We as a “whole” need to become as such by being TRUE Individuals. Stop lying to others, above all, to ourselves. Why am I writing this?…Who cares?….Just know, that you know as well as I do, I am speaking the truth.
If this would work world wide with everyone, it would be great, however, that is like those Damn Walgreens commercials, in a perfect world.
We choose to hide ourselves because our true self is never truly acceptable because society is defined by rules made years and years ago (rather like Grammatical rules, and don’t EVEN get me started on those).
In a perfect world, we can be ourselves, all the time, and be accepted. Nowadays, our freedom to be ourselves is only defined by how far we want to get in life. At work, there are rules and those rules must be followed if you expect to get ahead. It sucks, but it’s truth.
That is why we (hopefully) choose friends and lovers who are of like minds and similar attitudes. This way, when we aren’t in the situations where we are required to behave a certain way, we can let lose and be ourselves. If we don’t find friends or loved ones who can accept us for who we really are, then we lose ourselves. We may even change who we really are to fit into the world as it requires us to do.
Everyone needs an outlet to be who they are.
You are correct, though, that some people don’t even know themselves enough to figure out who they really are.. or even worse, they are not willing to admit to it.
Once we all reach a point where we love ourselves and can truly accept others, we may move into a newer, better, healthier age.
My personal answers to your questions?
I flirt with everyone.
Yes, I would date a nerd, BUT, you need to define nerd… AND you are stereotyping a “nerd” anyway, so you are finding yourself guilty of some of the things you are complaining about.
Yes, I would put an animal out of it’s misery as long as I knew that I wouldn’t cause it more pain in the process (ie, I would need a gun)
A man who killed someone. Well, I would need to know the circumstances. I would need to know if it was self-defense or revenge. If it was cold blooded murder for no reason other than to kill, I would not be comfortable being friends with them. I used to know the KSU instructor who was imprisoned for murder. He was found guilty. I knew him. I had classes with him. I still cannot accept that he murdered his ex wife. I would need to hear his side of the story. Being imprisoned for something never tells the whole story, and I would require the whole story before determining if it was such an action to require the dissolvement of a friendship or the prevention of a new friendship.
Love is indiscriminate IF people are of like minds and attitudes. Otherwise, it isn’t true love. You must get to know a person, the true person, underneath to find and know true love.
Now, there are many many people who hide their true selves from even themselves. Honestly, would you WANT to be involved with someone like that? Before finding your true love, your soul mate, if you will, you have to really really know them. You an observe actions, their relationship with others, talk to their friends, etc. Sometimes, people are blessed with the ability to just know. They trust their instincts and their instincts never have failed them. But if you don’t have that ability, trust your friends, especially if they seem to know the real you. Have them observe the two of you together. LISTEN to their opinion and thoughts about this potential mate. If your prospective mate does not like your friends, then this person will never accept you for who you are, and they probably haven’t shared their true self with you. You should run for your life in that case. If you don’t have friends you are willing to trust and listen to, you need to find new friends.
So many changes, so many requirements to survive in this world that we have. I truly believe the world is changing, and we are on the brink of it, but it isn’t happening yet, but every once in a while, you see hints of it. Good deeds here and there. A change in belief systems. Changes in types of government support. Little things. It’s happening. It’s coming.
Honestly, it is an exciting time to be alive. I do see big changes coming in my lifetime. Hell, there has already been huge changes since I was born in 69. I don’t know if it is going to have to get worse before it ever gets better, but it WILL get better. There are too many people who want and are waiting for the changes, supporting the changes, and even catalysts to the changes. Open your heart, soul and mind to these changes and to these people and you will see so much.
You obviously had someone(s) in mind when you wrote this. How old are they? How set in their ways? How were they brought up? It all makes a difference. Change is scary and the older one gets, the scarier it can be UNLESS you have always been around changes, have successfully rolled with the punches and have survived. Those people are different, see things differently and are more likely to accept. (My grandma was like this).
Yes. There are still the rich people wanna be’s. They wanna fit in to the rich crowd, or they ARE rich and so they are defined by the requirements of being rich. Either that or they are rich and considered horribly eccentric and looked down upon by the “in” rich people. *shrug* It happens and as long as there is “old money” and rich old folks, it isn’t gonna change.
Have no noticed that (other than the wanna bes) the lower classes are more accepting? More able to be themselves? Middle classers can go both ways… certain residential communities have their requirements and rules. People live there for the prestige. I do not mingle with those sorts so I honestly don’t know if they still exist, but I’m fairly certain they do. Chances are, they are older people OR they were brought up that way and are just following in their parents footsteps.
We will not be able to create awareness in their minds, but the children.. there are always the children. More and more, children are learning to be themselves. People see them and say “oh, look, another one of those horrible teens” but think twice. These kids are being themselves. They are expressing who they are. THEY are our future. And when I see kids who don’t fit into the “norm” it gladdens my heart and enforces my hope for mankinds future..
My suggestion? Stay away from people who are not themselves. (Work being a different universe altogether). Don’t judge until you know who you are. Match your friends and lovers with who you are, and if you must, figure out who you are first. You may have to change friends. You may have to change lovers, but if that is what you need to put yourself back on track with who you are, then it is something that must be done.
To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else–means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
by E. E. Cummings.