• Tue. Dec 6th, 2022

A new yahoo group, already filled with darkness

One day, I tell her she is like a daughter to me. The next day, I destroy her boyfriend.

No, I am not a nice person…

I started a group for pagans in my area in Yahoo Groups. I did this so that we could discuss things and maybe have gatherings. And I wanted this to be a mature group of Pagans. When a young, not quite pagan person jumped in and said some things, I took it badly and noted it specifically. I asked him, onlist, to please not be so corny.

Then it all exploded. :(

He was greatly offended by that. His girlfriend was greatly offended by that, and things got ugly.

First week on the list and things got ugly.
Damn.

So, what happens now? I deleted the pathetic emails from the list. Of course, the ones that were emailed out are already out there, but they are no longer listed or archived. I don’t know if that is good or bad, but that is what I did.

I’m petty. I’m childish. And I’m annoyed. I’ve always liked this young man. Why all of a sudden did he bug me so? Maybe because I was looking for some adult conversation, and it went haywire the very first day. Maybe I just should have let it be. I mean, it is the beginning. But I also wanted to make sure that it was known that some things will bother me.

Maybe everyone should leave my list. Or just start a new one and ban me from it. Perhaps now that the idea is there, it will work without me. I don’t know.

What’s done is done. Past is past. I cannot take it away. Perhaps I had been hiding my true feelings so that I would not hurt this dear friend of mine. I’m usually better than that, but then, I’ve always let things run their course, knowing what I know, and just being available when things finally go sour. That has always (almost always) been my policy, since I had lost a friend before over that same type of issue.

Maybe the ages of the people involved made a difference. Not that they would ever listen to me, and since I am a teacher, I should know that these things will just endure longer if they are discouraged. Sheesh. I need to learn from myself and from my past, yet here I am making similar mistakes all over again.

Goddess, Give me strength to be who I need to be as a person and as Your follower.

~ A Daily Rune ~

by Meg Wittenmyer, Sagewoman Winter 1993

I call upon the strengths and
wisdom which lies within,
gifts of the Mother to her Daughter,
to lead me toward a greater understanding.

I know these powers to be existent,
waiting patiently for my acceptance,
for my readiness to free them from
their stale social prisons.

I seek to se the beauty of the moment and
to appreciate and accept myself as I
was meant to be.

Guide my decisions to reflect the right action
required for growth and learning.
Give me patience to know when to be still
and wait for the answers, and where to look for them.

Help me not to forget how to play,
to always return the gift of laughter,
especially at myself, and may my sense of humor
always be greater than my sense of sorrow.

Keep within me a joy for nature as I strive
not to harm the Earth and all her children.
Open my mind to not judge or condemn,
and open my heart to change myself when necessary.

May the things I learn today lead me
forward in my quest for knowledge and understanding,
as well as peace within tomorrow.

Blessed Be!

Em

I'm Me!

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