so, today, as every day, I get my DailyOm articles, and today’s is about Judgment vs Opinion. (See bottom of this blog)
This article completely changes my perspective and my blog about Judging Others nearly one year ago. (Nov 18, 2009, to be exact, wild! Have I grown so much in one year? Am I ready for more answers? Apparently so.)
Last year, I learned something about myself that I did not like and I’ve spent a year getting past it. This, I feel, culminated while I was at the Psychic fair, when Michelle from Intuitive Portraits stated that I was a person who does not judge others. She said that was admirable and rare, that I take people at face value and allow them to prove to me who they really are. I was dumbfounded. That had been my goal. Michelle said this was a extremely rare trait and an impressive one. Wow.
Therefore, I must believe that I have reached a point where I don’t really judge people. I can’t solely rely on a psychic, though, of course, that’s not who I am, but then today, I received the DailyOm and it opened up a whole new door of possibilities. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a great year and the exercises in reserving judgment will always be a benefit to me. It is now part of who I am, but now I can take that one step further. I’m not judging, but I am forming an opinion.
In this article, not judging could result in not trusting instincts. I don’t feel this has ever been a problem. I have a new boss at work. I spoke to him openly and directly. Since then there has been little things of unusualness, but I did not and will not judge him as a person. He certainly is fascinating. A good, active Christian, who invites his Pastor and other church families over for dinner every Sunday who also just happens to believe in Reincarnation. (“Do you believe in Reincarnation, kb?” DT Asked one day. My response: “Only if it doesn’t affect my job.” ) *grin* Yo may laugh. We sure did, but there’s a little voice at the back of my mind that says I need to watch my P’s and Q’s (What does that mean anyway?) .. so I’m cautious. Of the people in my IT Office, the ones that I’ve worked with for a while know I’m pagan. The new kid does not. (He is also active in his church, and I think I’ve scared him a time or two.) My IT Manager prally knows but since it is not upfront or blatant, he doesn’t touch it. (His computer says that No God / Know God saying). AS is pretty certain that the bossman does know, but we just don’t talk about it. I have no problem with that. It has nothing to do with my job or how I do it. I have not judged him yet I do protect myself from him. I trust my instincts.
Because there are so many twists and turns in how I relate and interact with people, I firmly believe I am staying open and fluid, therefore I really do not judge people. This is yet another delightful awakening, as I continue my journey into discovering myself and continuing my path to enlightenment.
Staying Open and Fluid
Judgment Versus Opinion
It is important to distinguish between opinion and judgment. Opinions open us up, judgments close us down.
Most of us understand that when we judge someone, or someone judges us, it is a negative emotional experience. As a result, we naturally want to avoid being judgmental, but this gets confusing when we feel we have to suppress thoughts that could actually be offering us guidance. For example, we may meet someone new and suppress a negative feeling about them, thinking that we don’t want to fall into the trap of being judgmental. Later, though, it may turn out that paying attention to that thought could have helped us take care of ourselves or someone else.
It is important to learn to distinguish inner guidance, and having an opinion, from judgment, otherwise we run the risk of not listening to our intuition and not allowing ourselves to form opinions. Inner guidance and opinions both help us to interact more intelligently in the world, so we don’t want to throw them out in an effort to avoid being judgmental. Our intuition usually makes itself known to us in a flash, and often has a physical component—a flutter in our stomachs, sweaty palms, or a chill. When we use this information to help us navigate a situation, we always benefit. Similarly, having an opinion about a person or an idea allows us to converse about it in a focused way with intention. Listening to our intuition and forming opinions are both positive outcomes of our ability to interpret the information that comes our way.
When we make a judgment, on the other hand, we attempt to have a final say on whether someone or something is inherently good or bad. Judgments close us down instead of opening us up; opinions have a lighter quality and are amenable to change. Once a judgment has been made, there is no more conversation or consideration, whereas opinions invite further debate. Intuition guides us from moment to moment, but, unlike judgment, never makes a final decree. In other words, it is only healthy to be open to the information we receive and to allow ourselves to process that information. As long as we stay open and fluid, we can trust that we have not fallen prey to the trap of judgment.