I impulsively stopped by Crystal Window yesterday. LOL
The idea came out of no where as I was driving past. (No, I didn’t cause an accident, thank goodness, ;)
Angela was working.. and we started talking as we always do…
I don’t know how it came about, but we started talking about boyfriends and “soulmates”. She told me about a spell that she found/created and that it has worked for quite a few of her friends.
Of course I was intrigued.
She first asked if I would be willing to meet and marry my soulmate when I found him. I’m cautious right now about marriage. No, that’s not right, I’m down right terrified of it!! I told her that… but.. we moved forward anyway. Marriage is just a word and there can be many definitions, so I was not worried. The goddess knows what is in my soul and my soulmate would understand the many levels of “marriage”.
So she told me that I needed to write down 11 characteristics of my soulmate. These would be the requirements of who I would meet and “marry”. I would not be allowed to “settle” for someone who did not fit ALL of the requirements. If I settled, I would never be happy, she said, I would be doing myself an injustice.
So I made my list. (In no particular order, since they are each required).
1. Outgoing – comfortable in social situations.
2. Outdoorsman – Enjoys hunting, fishing and camping.
3. Emotionally intelligent and empathetically balanced.
(I wanted to say emotional but not controlled by emotions, but I was told that I could not use any negatives in my list, so we adjusted it.)
4. Mentally stimulating and inspiring.
5. Values the importance of silence.
6. Adventurous travelor
(I wanted to just say adventurous, but she said that was too generic and I may end up with someone adventurally doing drugs or unwanted adventures.)
7. Natural nurturer and good fatherly instincts.
8. Good sense of humor, compatable to mine.
9. Appreciates football.
10. Pagan or at lease pagan friendly.
11. Similar book, movie and music genre interests.
When I completed that list she told me that number 12 was to be my sexual requirements. LOL
Sexually stimulating, imaginative, patient, gentle, loving and understanding.
Then she had me make the spell and read it aloud. (It is rather like a chant).
Finally, she printed out some information that she had gathered.
There are four characteristics of a soulmate.
4. Madly in love.
Four important characteristics will help you to recognize your soul mate. The first is acceptance. He will accept you as you are. He does not try to change you. You want someone to listen to your dreams, to stimulate your mind, to understand your heart, to give you courage and confidence, and to give you love. You want someone to explore you physically, emotionally, and psychologically. You want someone to explore your mind, your ideas, your anger, and your joy. You want him to laugh with you and even cry with you.
He accepts your positive qualities (and you have plenty of them) and your negative ones (even the ones that irritate him). If there are too many of the latter then he is not your soul mate. Your soul mate recognizes that your strengths and weaknesses are like two sides of a coin. Both the negative and the positive characteristics make up who you are. You probably can’t have one set without the other. It’s part of being human.
The second characteristic of a soul mate is generosity. The person with whom you are involved feels so much love for you that he is generous with his entire being. He first is generous with his time. This generosity means that he recognizes that not only does he want to be with you and talk to you but also he recognizes that relationships deepen only with personal contact. If one of you is out of town, you make arrangements to talk over the telephone, to e-mail, to communicate in whatever way you can. A soul mate is also generous with his energy. He’s willing to devote his energy to learn about you, to participate in what you like to do, to give the energy to address your needs and to let you know his. Generosity also extends to financial caring. He’s not stingy with his money. He’s willing to share with you what he has. Even the person in dire straits can find ways to share. Generosity is not dependent on how much money one has.
All of these characteristics of generosity are also applicable to you. You too must be generous. If you find generosity does not characterize your relationship, then you are not soul mates. Someone once asked me if two selfish people can be soul mates. I suppose they can at the most primitive level but selfishness is not a long-term bond.
The third characteristic of a soul mate is that he is a learner. This means that your soul mate is constantly learning, as are you. Your soul mate must be curious about you, about what makes you tick, about your background, about your interests, your talents. He must want to learn about your personality and what makes you happy. He should also extend this curiosity to the outside world. The joys of marriage to a soul mate have to do with mutual exploration beyond the relationship. Although you both certainly won’t have all the same interests in life, your ability to listen to each other and to get excited about the other’s learning will excite and deepen the relationship.
The fourth characteristic is that a soul mate loves you madly. A soul mate in or out of marriage appreciates who you are. This is much beyond the first characteristic of accepting your essence. This is a person who cares about your well-being, who thinks about your needs, and who is ready and able to support your choices.
A couple years ago, my list was longer… I look at it now and wonder if I should add a few things to my soulmate description… at least the cooking and cleaning part.. or is that being too picky?
Requirements for a “perfect” partner (2004):
Father figure for Kevin (we are after all a packaged deal)
Listen to him
Be able to take care of him when I cannot (bath, fix owies and put to bed)
Eventually love him
Anything else w/ Kevin
Comfort – ability to give
Adventure – ability to give
Surprises – I like surprises – like teddy bears
Picnics/gatherings of any sort
Does not embarrass
Good conversationalist – can talk about anything
Reads – books
Movies – any/all kinds
Self-respect/good self image
Not overly moody
Cooks – willing/able to
Cleans – willing/able to
Likes board games or role playing games . Other than video games. Is not addicted to card games unless its bridge or something similar
Smoker (or accepting of one)
Takes care of me cause he wants to
A pagan or pagan friendly
Likes lazy days of doing absolutely nothing
Likes doing things with me
Can do things w/o me
I think I did pretty good, overall. Both with the old one (which took time to write / discover) and with the new one (created in Crystal Window.. ;)
Now, where is this soulmate of mine hiding?