• Wed. Mar 29th, 2023

DailyOm on Real love (and I doubt that I will ever feel it again..)

Jun 4, 2007

The Real Thing
Love Should Feel Good

Often in our lives, we fall prey to the idea of a thing rather than actually experiencing the thing itself. We see this at play in our love lives and in the love lives of our friends, our family, and even fictional characters. The conceptualizing, depiction, and pursuit of true love are multimillion-dollar industries in the modern world. However, very little of what is offered actually leads us to an authentic experience of love. Moreover, as we grasp for what we think we want and fail to find it, we may suffer and bring suffering to others. When this is the case, when we suffer more than we feel healed, we can be fairly certain that what we have found is not love but something else.

When we feel anxious, excited, nervous, and thrilled, we are probably experiencing romance, not love. Romance can be a lot of fun as long as we do not try to make too much of it. If we try to make more of it than it is, the romance then becomes painful. Romance may lead to love, but it may also fade without blossoming into anything more than a flirtation. If we cling to it and try to make it more, we might find ourselves pining for a fantasy, or worse, stuck in a relationship that was never meant to last.

Real love is identifiable by the way it makes us feel. Love should feel good. There is a peaceful quality to an authentic experience of love that penetrates to our core, touching a part of ourselves that has always been there. True love activates this inner being, filling us with warmth and light. An authentic experience of love does not ask us to look a certain way, drive a certain car, or have a certain job. It takes us as we are, no changes required. When people truly love us, their love for us awakens our love for ourselves. They remind us that what we seek outside of ourselves is a mirror image of the lover within. In this way, true love never makes us feel needy or lacking or anxious. Instead, true love empowers us with its implicit message that we are, always have been, and always will be, made of love.


I'm Me!

2 thoughts on “DailyOm on Real love (and I doubt that I will ever feel it again..)”
  1. “The energy you send out, you will recieve back three fold.” Try saing instead, someday I will once again feel that love!

  2. Very lovely. Another point is true love stands the test of time, old love is gold love. Some people rush into a long term relationship, before knowing if their really in love. For example, two people in a moment in time may be ideal partners, but if they are growing apart, growing at different rates, or one of the partners lags behind then other; unless they work as a team united, growing together, towards a whole being the two of them together, their union will falter — need to schedule “we” time. Finger pointing, name calling, and bickering, only widen the divide — ends in hurt feelings and my make reconciliation impossible. True love will overcome all obstacles — needs to be thought of as a challenge for both to overcome — two heads work better than one.

    True love may be an abstraction, like Plato’s theory of forms, we aspire to the dream of a perfect true love; but, in the real world need to make concessions, and be practical, and accept imperfections. Attitude is important to, an cute quirk in the beginning of a relationship can fester into the most annoying thing on earth. Aways remember how you met in the first place and what drew you to the person.

    Opposites attract in the beginning, but as you grow older, you want to share a lot of things in common, you don’t want to wake up next to a stranger after twenty years of marriage. You wan a best friend, a confidant, a lover, supporter when you are down, and vice versa.

    Thank you for making us ponder love,
    a most noble emotion,
    Many blessing to you,
    blessed be! Love, Merlyn )O(

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