Something I have to forgive myself for.
That’s tough. I mostly have forgiven myself for decisions I have made and I wouldn’t go back to change anything I’ve done.
There is one thing, though, that I do need to forgive myself for. When my son was a baby, he spit up once (yeah, he didn’t do it often) and I freaked out so bad. It was horrible. I am now working on this phobia and hopefully I will someday be able to understand it and work past it. My son is fine, he was a baby and didn’t know anything. He was not harmed by it, I hope. But, I couldn’t help it. It was wrong of me and I had no control over my fear. And I need to forgive myself that moment. That time.
Fortunately, Michael’s mom was there for me. She never understood it, but she did her best to help me. She loved me and that was a big first step.
I miss her so much.
I love you mom.
Is it okay for me to forgive myself that time? I’m sure it is.. but I’m not sure how or if or when I will actually be able to do it.
I love you, son. At least I hope you were not harmed by my fear. I am working so that fear will not affect any of us in the future. Time heals all.. The more and more I learn, I believe this phobia stems back to at least one previous lifetime. Perhaps I will learn more thru hypnotherapy. Wish me luck and understanding. I need it.