My largest grievance is probably work related. I love my job, but I have a PM who is not fit for his position (don’t we all). Fortunately my company is going to get him training so the situation will hopefully improve!
The universe loves me! I will survive!!
“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.”
— Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
“One can spend a lifetime assigning blame, finding the cause ‘out there’ for all the troubles that exist. Contrast this with the ‘responsible attitude’ of confronting the situation, bad or good, and instead of asking, ‘What caused the trouble? Who was to blame?’ asking ‘How can I handle this present situation to make the most of it? What can I salvage here?’”
— Abraham Maslow
“You are flawed, you are stuck in old patterns, you become carried away with yourself. Indeed you are quite impossible in many ways. And still, you are beautiful beyond measure. For the core of what you are is fashioned out of love, that potent blend of openness, warmth, and clear, transparent presence.”
— John Welwood
In the ego’s nightmare, other people and events in the world are feared and judged as unsafe. The ego’s mantra is that the universe is malevolent. If there’s good to be had, we have to compete and engage the “survival of the fittest” mentality to get it. This is the ego’s game of win-lose, which ultimately results in total loss.
If you allow your grievance to control you, you engage in the losing battle of constantly perceiving threats and attacking. Your actions, choices, and behaviors reflect this illusion; and you begin operating in a world of separation. You create stories about the “bad others” to assign blame and relieve the pain of your isolation. In the journey into Oneness, however, all of your grievances are revealed for what they are. It’s your choice whether to surrender the nightmare of your self-created separation for healing or to continue to suffer in the darkness.
Today’s practice invites you to become aware of and identify your core grievances that operate in your life. Bringing your issues into consciousness enables you to free yourself of them. Most often these old beliefs have become your personal story. They’re so deeply embedded that you mistakenly assume that they hold truths about you and the world. This practice helps you become aware of these grievances and deconstruct the stories you’ve created to support them.
To begin, think of something in your life that’s painful, difficult, stressful, or consistently and persistently “stuck.” You may want to consider your current relationships with your spouse, lover, friends, or colleagues. Consider other key areas of your life such as your health, finances, career, or even other relationships. When you think of a specific situation, what emotions, sensations, and thoughts arise?
When you engage the energy of your grievances, you set yourself in opposition to others and the world. How have you created a “bad other” in this situation or experience? What evidence have you collected, and what story have you created to ensure that your beliefs are legitimate? Allow yourself to become fully present by paying attention to your feelings and physical sensations.
Now ask yourself what feels familiar about this particular situation. Where or when have you felt this before? How does it relate to past experiences? How would you put this into words? Take out your journal, and start writing down your feelings in clear and simple statements: You don’t respect me. You don’t appreciate and include me. You don’t love me. You don’t reward me. You don’t want me. You don’t acknowledge me. Notice how your grievance taps into your core fears of feeling unworthy or unloved. Most of the negativity we project onto others and into the world is created from these limiting beliefs.
Now become fully present without shouldering any blame or judgment. From this perspective, how do you think your grievance impacts your life, your relationships? How do they contribute to the collective mood of separation in the world today? Take a moment to circulate your breath throughout your body. Breathe in, breathe out, and let go. Continue to take your own personal inventory, bringing your awareness to the grievances you harbor. Allow them to be transformed by your willingness to recognize, name, and ultimately release them.
I AM surrendering my grievances to the healing power of Divine Love and choosing the miracle of Oneness.