Okay. Well. Maybe I wasn’t really “ill” per say. But I was…. something.
So much has changed just in the past week. Wow. And what a week it’s been!
Hmm.. “cured” intimates that something had been wrong.. and I guess, in a sense, there was. It has been around 5 years since I split with my ex. Wow. I still can’t believe it. And I think, until recently, I cared more about him than I should. No, that isn’t right.. I remembered the way things were and missed many aspects.
But now, I’ve found someone. And he is a LOT like my ex. Not completely, by any means.. and definitely some differences.. but still.. a LOT of similarities. (Which gives him many similarities to me… ) so, am I still looking to replace my ex? I don’t think so. Not that way, anyway. I enjoyed the similarities that he and I had together, and that’s probably what I’ve been looking for. I want someone who is different than me, (and different than him) but someone that I share similar interests, etc.
And we’ve really enjoyed this past week. Movies, discussions, etc. He’s planning on moving here sometime soon, and I’m really excited about that… and not just because of the extra income (although that will certainly help!) PLUS and this is my favorite part of all, my son likes him too!! :)
So. I’ve said I am cured. I even listened to some old songs.. ya know the kind.. the one’s that used to bother me when I heard them because they brought back memories? Well, now they are just songs! :) I’m pretty excited about that… *blush*
So, now my MySpace page says, “In a Relationship” and I guess I’ll see how many “friends” still talk to me. That discovery a while back that I was nothing more than a Sex Object still bugs me, and now that I’m taken (I’ve fallen in love) how many more will disappear? Is the world so horrible that men or women won’t treat me the same just because I have someone in my life now? Is this going to be yet another awakening? Well, at least this time it won’t be such a blow. The first time totally dumbfounded me. I could not believe that that was all some of these so called friends were doing in my life.. just hoping for a romp in bed. I hated that.. and it still devastates me. But this time, if it happens, I’m at least going in with my eyes open and ready for my “friends” to start dropping like flies.
What a cruel world to befriend someone just because you wanna “fuck” them. I really really don’t like –them- apples.
But, on a positive note, I have found a good man. I never promised him sex. He was never demanding or expecting (maybe hoping, but hey… we are all human). In fact, I would have to say that our first time was instigated by me. *grin* *blush* And he… was rather reluctant, but only because making love is special… and he didn’t want to be a “notch” on my bed, so to speak. We both were cautious and I truly believe we went into this with our eyes open and knowing exactly what we hoped to get from a relationship. And I think we have both found it, found exactly what we were looking for, although both of us wish we had at least started this in or near the same city. Jeff City is in Missouri and it’s going to be a big move, if-when it happens. Thank goodness he’s in an apartment and not his own home. I believe that had he still be living in his own home, that he would not have considered moving to Topeka… but.. everything happens for a reason, so a part of me is glad that he had lost his home there and that he is willing to move here to be with me. Now, if only I knew when.. when at least I will see him again, let alone when he’ll finally be able to move here. I wonder if he is going to miss me as much as I’m going to miss him. From what he says, he is.. it’s easier to go back to a place where the “other” hadn’t been than to leave an emptiness in the life, heart and home of someone who has gotten used to having that special someone around for over a week.
Well, that’s enough rambling, eh?
I may change or add to this later, but now, it is lunch time!! :)
Time for goodbyes.. :(