• Sat. Dec 2nd, 2023

I’m in a mood….

Sep 9, 2007 #bills, #debt, #dj, #money, #parents, #son, #the ex

Money is tight.
My ex’s new ex is gonna be getting 2000 a month from him, which means there will be no money left over to pay me back.
How is it that someone like her gets the breaks?
My son is living with me full time! WHOO HOO!! I’m just not able to afford it the way I want to. Yeah, we have a home, yeah, we have food, but that’s it! *sigh*
I took out a loan to help my ex out.. yeah, it allowed my son to be with me, yes it was worth it, but now the extra bills are killing me.

Halloween decorations are out in Wal-Mart (yeah, don’t start, I hate Wal-Mart but they do have good prices and right now, I’ll just have to deal with the assholes who work there..)
My favorite holiday. I can’t afford a single one. I’ll be lucky to figure out how to get Kevin his Halloween costume, let alone my own. I hate this.

Clothes.. thank goodness for Grandma and Grandpa.

Books are a luxury I cannot afford. I need to start going to the library. Kevin would love that.

Movies. HAH!

I should prally shut down some of my cable, but dammit, I need SOME escape…

I have a social today. My son’s school has socials for parents. Topeka Collegiate. I’ll be rubbing elbows with the rich. I’m terrified. At least I know someone, at least Carter’s mom will be there. (She’s even going to come pick me up! That should make me feel better, but I still have butterflies).

The Chiefs are losing horribly.

Gods, will today never end?
I should have taken the teaching job, but it was in Burlingame. I’m not sure the expense for travel and the time my son would have to spend with childcare would be worth the little bit of money it would have brought it.

I asked the goddess for help, I did a money spell, I got this job offer 2 days later. I just couldn’t do it, now, I feel bad about that too. I know that the goddess doesn’t work that way, but she presented me an out, a means to an end, but the cons outweighed the pros so I’m still in the same boat.

Damn. There’s gotta be SOME light at the end of the tunnel!
I just gotta find it..

DJ is out of my life in two weeks. I should be happy about that. And I am! That’s one other good thing. My son and a closure with a mistake.

It’ll get better.
It has to!


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