I return to this, yet again. It is something that eats at me.
Am I being judgmental? Is there no room for exceptions?
Back in 2009, I wrote this: Judging Others. I no longer remember the specifics, but I know that this judgmental phase was heart wrenching.
Then I discovered this: A return to judgment. Was it only opinion?
Yet here I am again, going down that street of self-doubt. Am I judging? Am I locked into a belief or opinion with no exceptions?
No. I am not.
I am founder and admin of Empath Support Group. In this group I have to be a hardass. Hmm. a HardAss Empath. Yeah. Cast Iron Bitch. Mama Bear.
I trust my instincts. When something or someone doesn’t feel right, they aren’t.
When someone comes into the group and causes drama. I delete them (and generally ban them too).
I get frustrated with the people who refuse to help themselves. We can’t do it for them yet they want us to give them all the answers, but they want the empath (and other gifts) to have an on-off switch. It doesn’t work that way.
So, sometimes, just sometimes, I have to remove the ones who aren’t ready. Their whining, moaning and groaning do not help our group and in particular, do not help the ones who ARE trying. Who ARE learning. These individuals who aren’t ready bring down the whole group. So I remove them.
It bothers me. (Cuz I’m an empath and more.. LOL and *sigh*)
Today I came to terms with it. I’m not doing it for me. I generally leave room for learning and growth, but we have over four thousand members. I simply cannot help those who aren’t ready. None of us can. I watch and wait, sometimes commenting and guiding. I’ve seen people change and grow. I’ve seen others get stuck in the quicksand that is of their own making.
I’m not judging, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one, in a group this size. In most groups.
Change my opinion. Show me that you CAN and WILL grow. Show me that you are ready to learn to shield and to utilize your empath gifts. Show me in words and responsibility, stories and tales. Show me that you’ve changed one thing to make something better. Share your good stories, your successes, even your recognitions of your failures but with a plan to make it a triumph.
But do not call me judgmental.
I have everyone’s best interest at heart. We are all here to learn. If you refuse to learn, then, as an empath, you should already know how your refusal and posts make people feel.
If you do not know the suffering you cause by not helping yourself, by not allowing room in you for growth and optimism, by constantly whining about how hard it is and that you’ll never have a real life, if you don’t realize the pain YOU are causing by these posts, you aren’t really an empath.