Kevin Loric has arrived

Kevin Loric has arrived!

We survived premature labor, total bed rest, and other worrisome things, but now, thank the goddess, little Kevin has arrived safely!

During the past few months, I was unable to have any rituals, yet I always remembered each holiday and full moon. I may not have truly been able to celebrate, but I believe that the goddess understood my situation.

Sunday, there will be a full moon. I hope that my husband will be understanding, as this will be the last full moon in Germany, and I want to spend one last night at my special grove. I have so much I want to thank the goddess for, but of course, I cannot leave my son for too long, since I am breastfeeding. I hope the weather warms up or at least that it is not raining. It has been so long since I’ve been to my grove, that I may actually need a flashlight to get there, unless, if it pleases the goddess, the night is clear and her light shows me the way, one final time.

A part of me feels guilty that I have missed so many special celebrations during the past few months. I do believe that the goddess understands, but I must work on forgiving myself. I had my books and my silent prayers and semi-rituals from my bed, but looking back, I wish I had done more, although I don’t know what more I could have safely done. I don’t think anything would have happened to my son, but at the time, I just wanted to protect him and keep him safe. The best way to do that was to follow doctor’s orders and remain in bed.

I keep thinking that maybe I should have asked my husband to become more involved, but he isn’t comfortable with it yet… which is interesting, because he was interested before I even knew him. His path is different than mine, he just hasn’t taken the jump from learning to experimenting yet. I did not want to do anything that made him uncomfortable.

Next month, I will be in Oklahoma. I hope I can find a suitable place there for my rituals, etc. I was so lucky here to find this grove, so near my home that I could walk. Of course, knowing so few people here kept questions to a minimum. In fact, I don’t think anyone ever saw me or wondered. If they did, it was kept to themselves. Now that I am moving to a small town, it is going to be much more difficult. I really doubt I will be able to walk out of my apartment without someone noticing me. Perhaps, I will need to take the car.. IF my husband will let me. I believe that there is a group that meets on full moons and holidays, but I am still most comfortable being solitary. I guess we will have to wait and see what happens. The goddess will help me find a way.

Another thing I am uncertain about. How does my temporary inability to perform rituals and celebrate the goddess affect my education which was to last a year and a day. I will need to seek advice to learn if I must start the process over again. I guess that is something that I will have to wait and see upon.

Well, it feels good to be back, and I have so much planned for Sunday night. I just hope I can squeeze it all in and still be home in time to feed my son! (I really doubt my husband would be understanding if I took a three week old baby with me… but it would be perfect.)

Blessed Be!

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