• Sat. Jun 22nd, 2024


Mar 30, 2008

Well, I don’t think I’m that hard to approach. I don’t think I fly off the wall over stupid shit, but apparently, Aphrodite does not feel comfortable talking to me when something is wrong. At least when I am supposedly the cause of whatever the hell is wrong.

Here I finally thought I found a woman who I could talk to, but once again I am sadly mistaken.

I’m sick of this shit.

She is forever welcome in my home and in my life. I have told her that. I’ve given my word. I have no expectations, simple help with utilities WHEN she can afford it. She has medicines and bills of her own to take care of. I understand that.

But she can’t talk to me. She cannot tell me when there is something wrong. She may feel “indebted” to me for living here, but I’m not going to kick her out.

And now she is making Thorik as a go-between. I don’t like that either. It’s like their roles are reversed, now. Since she isn’t Thorik and my “go-between” as she was when they all moved in, now he is hers. I haven’t told him stuff that I cannot say to her face.

She says she can be blunt, but apparently she is scared of me or something. I’m NOT going to kick her out. I’m not that way. When I give my word, I stand by that. I don’t do the games other women do.. I want to hear things straight up and I tell things straight up. I’m a bitch. No doubt about it. But I never thought I was unapproachable. Even Steph would tell me like it was, never hiding behind anything. Steph was a good roomie. *sigh* I miss Steph. She was a good friend. She has her own life and has been really busy… she has never even met Thorik.

So, as for female friends, I have Trish from work. That’s it. And we don’t socialize outside of work. At least not really. But she has 3 kids and I have my son… so it would be difficult anyway. She and her family did come for my son’s birthday.. but …

So, once again, the stupidity of women haunts me. I do have a small fear that it will come between Thorik and I. Not that it would be easy, but these games must stop. I do have a temper. She isn’t at risk of being thrown out, but if she doesn’t start talking to me, telling me what the hell is going on, I can’t “fix” it.

What society have done to people sucks. Royally.

I WAS having a good weekend, goddammit, but now …

I just hope the T-Storms come… perhaps that will help my temper, because right now, I’m definitely pissed off.

Update March 31, lunchtime.

I sent her an email.

She is pissed because I have told her she needs to learn to love herself. She thinks by my insisting that she should love herself that I am trying to change her! OMG!!!


Why do I bother? Why do I try to help people?
How would telling her to love herself make her more like me? She says I am trying to change her to be more like me by telling her she should love herself.

And she says she loves herself enough because she takes care of herself and her medical conditions..
That’s not loving one’s self, that is staying alive! There is a difference!!
at least there is in my mind..

ah well. No more outa me.

I give up. She doesn’t get it and is definitely not gonna learn it.
I tried!! I really did!! :(

Thanks for listening..


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