Turn your “I can’t” into an “I can”
I “can’t” quit my job, I “can’t” leave my abusive spouse, I “can’t” tell my kids no, I “can’t” manage money, I “can’t” tell my toxic friend to stop calling… most of us have used that phrase at one time or another.
At its root, “I can’t” is basically a cop-out; it’s an excuse we use to avoid looking directly at – and speaking – the truth: I can’t quit my job because I can’t find anything better, I can’t tell my friend to stop texting or calling because they won’t listen or whatever the issue may be.
We use the excuse, “I can’t” to explain away our fear of change and our reluctance to change and then we hide there, believing that we truly can’t do these things.
“I can’t” becomes a way of making a decision by not making a decision. It is a passive aggressive way of just letting things happen because we don’t believe we are strong enough to make the changes we need to force that “I can”.
Try this exercise. Listen for all the times you use the words “I can’t” .. written online, texting or spoken. Change the words to more implicit reasons for your avoidance. I’m scared to go back to school. I’m not really good at math so I prefer not doing the finances. I’m terrified of leaving my spouse because I don’t know how to be on my own. I don’t like telling my kids no because I don’t want to hear them scream.
Soon, you will see the difference. The reason behind the “I can’t”s .. and that is the first step to changing them to I cans. The universe listens.. and small changes, even a difference in phrasing may seem subtle but you’re quietly changing the context of your personal story from having permanent “I can’t” obstacles to temporary “I’m afraid to” ones.
You can do this!! Whatever it is, it is possible and you can do it!
Turn your “I can’t” into a “Hell yes, I CAN!”