Ya know, itâ€™s weird but it makes sense too. I have often noticed how I am a different person at work, around my parents, around my son, with my friends, etc. I find it sad that I never thought about it as being multidimensional.
I can accept that no one part should be left out. There are times when you have to behave a certain way, but I have always thought it should be balanced by times when you can just let yourself go.
I found that I was able to truly be myself when I went to the HSF this year. No expectations, no requirements, no predetermined ideas or images or thoughts from other people or even myself. It was wonderful. I was able to do a lot of soul searching and it was gooooooood. :)
Since then, my reality has become lodged in-between my work self and my mother self. There has been not much else. Iâ€™ve been so tired, but perhaps it isnâ€™t just a physical tiredness, perhaps I am tired because I am repressing my own true self. I hope that I can take some time, soon and just be me. Otherwise, itâ€™s gonna be a long goddamn summer.. *sigh* (which it is anyway, cuz I hate the heat. The only thing summer is good for is my long / extended visitation with my son!)
Oh, and I like the comment the article makes about journaling. I enjoy writing because it is a form of release as well as a means to put my thoughts into a reasonable pattern. (which doesnâ€™t always work, but is a good theory). I can look back and see exactly what I was thinking at the time and perhaps even remember what I was feeling. Plus. It’s fun!