• Thu. Oct 1st, 2020

The Dust Bunny Husbandry Guide, A simple plan for urban enjoyment

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  • The Dust Bunny Husbandry Guide, A simple plan for urban enjoyment

Another New Living concept from Urban Development, Inc.

Urban Development and Urban Ranching Development are completely owned
subsidiaries of Billybobclayco Mogul Investments

Foreword

Raising dust bunnies can be a rewarding experience if approached with the
right attitude. On the other hand, the hard work and long hours can destroy
a persons ood humor if one is not sincerely committed to giving your herd
your very best efforts. Unlike many other endeavors, the care of dust
bunnies cannot be pursued half-heartedly. Your best efforts will be rewarded
with happy, healthy dust bunnies; less will yield a surly, sickly mob of
filth. Better not to try at all than to condemn young innocent bunnies to
poor health and mistreatment. That said, let’s get you equipped to do the
job right!

Choosing a proper pasture

The three most important things in any new endeavor are location, location
and location. This is also true in the world of dust bunnies.

Your dust bunnies need space to roam freely, but this space must not be
disturbed by frequent traffic, winds or cleaning. Protected spaces,
generally out of direct light and smoothly floored with tile or, best of
all, quality hardwood, are prime real estate for bunny grazing. Under beds,
sofas, in corners and behind doors are all likely spaces for bunnies. If you
find a congenial location, you can be assured that your bunny herd will grow
in health and vigor.

CARPETS WILL KILL YOUR BUNNIES! There’s no easy way to say this. Bunnies
trapped on carpet cannot move freely with the air currents and will waste
away, slowly losing their very essence until they actually fade away into
nothing. There is little you can do except make sure that no bunny in your
care ever strays onto carpet. Bunnies are not that bright. They need your
guidance. They find carpets almost magnetic in their allure. A bunny will
stick to a carpet tenaciously, unknowingly clinging to its own death. Keep
your bunnies away from carpets, rugs and the laundry you may carelessly let
fall to the floor. While carpets are the worst, any cloth is likely to
severely harm any bunny that it touches. Don’t let this happen to your herd.

Training your dust bunnies

There are those who say that dust bunnies can’t be trained. This is
nonsense. Anyone with normal portions of patience and intelligence can train
dust bunnies. There just isn’t that much that dust bunnies can do and so the
behavioral differences between even the best trained bunnies and those that
have been raised with no discipline at all are minuscule at most. Still this
is no excuse to raise ill-mannered bunnies that run free throughout the
house. They are easily taught to remain in their grazing area and even the
dullest bunny will stay close to the herd after witnessing an encounter
between a roving mate and an angry vacuum cleaner.

Brooms are another matter. All bunnies have a natural tendency to playfully
cling to brooms of all sorts, natural and synthetic fiber alike. While this
behavior cannot be eliminated, it must not be encouraged. Many a playful
bunny has made that final trip to the dustbin from a foolish urge to leave
the safety under the bed and dash to hug a broom sweeping by. You must be
vigilant. Broom-broken bunnies will pounce en masse onto a carelessly
dropped hair brush.

Dust bunnies and other pets: peaceful coexistence

Dust bunnies are friendly and sociable by nature. Generally, they love pets
of all kinds: dogs, cats, hamsters, even children. Some pets in the dust
bunny environment promote herd growth. For instance, Angora bunnies are most
likely to be found where long-haired cats roam. As a rule, the presence of
cats will promote a softer, finer structure in your dust bunnies. Dogs, on
the other hand, seem to attract bunnies with stiffer, pricklier pelts. Why
this is remains just one more dust bunny mystery.

A word on mixing children and dust bunnies. It certainly has been done
successfully by many people, but care must be taken to make sure that the
children are not too fastidious. Also they must not be allowed to eat the
dust bunnies. That kind of incident can traumatize a herd beyond any hope of
recovery.

By the numbers

Keeping your herd healthy and vital is easy if you follow the numbers:
temperature, humidity and wind velocity.

Keep the temperature between 0° C and 70° C. Colder makes them sluggish and
hotter leads to spontaneous combustion.

Humidity is very important in influencing the behavior of the bunny herd.
They will tend to clump more tightly during periods of low humidity due to
static cling. High humidity slows both growth and movement. Keep the
relative humidity between 65 and 75 per cent for best results.

The dangers of high wind velocity are probably obvious. Sometimes the
problems of air stagnation are not recognized, however. A bunny herd in
stagnant air will not graze and will not grow. Ideally, the air currents
should bring fresh materials to the herd continuously. For herds located in
corner areas, low-level, constant air movement on the order of 1 to 3
kilometers per hour is ideal. For herds located in other spaces, under beds
for instance, not bounded by walls, air currents of 1 to 5 kilometers per
hour with random directional changes will provide excellent grazing.

Culling, thinning and harvesting

Culling, thinning and harvesting all contribute to the health of your bunny
herd. Culling removes those bunnies that are too tightly or too loosely
formed to achieve the ideal resilient and ethereal density characteristic of
high quality bunnies. A perfect bunny is feather light but of sufficient
structure as to rebound completely from a gentle but firm pressure. Even if
your herd has no culls, the overall density of the population must not be so
high that individual bunnies begin to clump with their neighbors. Clumps
reduce the total herd surface area and thus reduce the aggregation capacity
of the herd. Bunnies should be harvested when they reach maturity; past
their peak, bunnies will lose their rotund shape and resiliency. Bunnies
beyond maturity should be culled as soon as possible.

DB2K+

The Dust Bunny 2000 Plus (DB2K+) project has as its goal the development of
a superior breed of dust bunny for the next century and beyond. As the human
race stands poised on the edge of space, it is the self-assumed
responsibility of the project to create a dust bunny worthy of inclusion in
our greatest adventure. Only breeders with the highest standards and
achievements are active participants in DB2K+. Nevertheless, the rest of us
can watch and support their efforts to breed the ultimate bunny.