• Sat. Sep 23rd, 2023

Day 22 – The Fear of Oneness

Sep 15, 2011

I am a control freak. This is definitely difficult for me. I do fear that I’m losing myself. I’m getting better but remembering we are all one goes against my ego. “I’m awesome” “Look at me!” …
I can do this!

“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive—the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”
— Don Miguel Ruiz

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. . . . And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
— Marianne Williamson

“‘What is love?’
‘The total absence of fear,’ said the Master.
‘What is it we fear?’
‘Love,’ said the Master.”
— Anthony de Mello



There is a collective fear of Oneness: the notion of being consumed or of losing one’s identity, personality, and security. It is a fear of intimacy and being vulnerable.

This belief system often presents itself in your close relationships. You’re afraid to surrender to Oneness because you may “lose” yourself, when, in fact, quite the opposite is true. It’s only when you’re willing to lose your life that you receive your life. No aspect of your authentic self will disappear or be lost. On the contrary, your greatest self will be resurrected, illuminated by the journey into Oneness.

The fear of Oneness can also be experienced as powerlessness—the feeling that you’ll be overwhelmed by the despair and violence taking place in the world today. On the path of Oneness, however, you’ll learn ways to use this collective grief to open your heart and mind to even deeper states of compassion, generosity, and inspiration.

This practice begins with your conscious choice and intention to become aware of the ways in which your subconscious apprehension drives your decisions and behaviors. Dedicate this day to actively transforming your fears by choosing to become present to them.

Allow the continuous background dialogue of insecurity and judgment in your mind to reveal itself to your gentle awareness. Listen carefully, as it has been influencing many of your choices and actions. At any moment, more than 90 percent of your actions are subconscious! Today’s practice focuses on making your subconscious mind conscious.

As you move through your day, notice when you experience that inner dialogue—your harsh assessments and criticisms of yourself and others. Notice the tension and anxiety in your body, and the constriction of breath in your chest. These are the symptoms of fear and separation. As you spot these signposts, become present to them through your breath. Breathe in, breathe out. Engage in radical compassion and unconditional acceptance of yourself and others. Breathe in, breathe out, and gently notice.

This practice develops your inner witness and wise mind. Your inner witness has the capacity to observe your fears, and your wise mind can restore your thoughts to love so that you resonate with Oneness. Become aware of your fears by activating your inner witness today, for once your disquiet is revealed, you’ll be healed. Tune in to your wise mind and return to a state of love, acceptance, and compassion. Remember to practice the art of maitr? (unconditional friendship with yourself). Be gentle with yourself, as most of your deepest fears originated when you were just a child—fed to you by the adults around you who were themselves trapped by their own fear and separation.

Your willingness to face the fear of Oneness with conscious awareness and courage contributes to healing the intergenerational dysfunction of the world. Acknowledge yourself for your willingness to be an instrument of love. Dedicate your personal transformation to the transformation of the world. Use your personal sphere of awareness today as you actively reveal and heal your fears. To do so, become present in the here-and-now through these five zones of personal awareness:

1. Sensing. What are you sensing? What are you experiencing in your body? Use all of your senses to bring yourself into the present moment. Ask yourself, What am I seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, tasting, and knowing right now? What signals is your body sending you?

2. Feeling. What are you feeling? Become present to the shifting landscape of your emotions throughout the day. When you’re anxious or apprehensive, face your feelings and ask yourself what this experience can teach you. What information about your core fears does it hold for you?

3. Thinking. What’s on your mind? What are your judgments, opinions, assessments, and ideas? Become present to your thinking. Notice and jot down any fears or criticisms that consistently present themselves. They are your greatest teachers, for their resolution will guide you to freedom and wholeness.

4. Wanting. What are you longing for? What are your desires? Your needs? Become present to your wants, and notice that they’re surrounded by your own trepidation. What does this reveal to you about your long-held judgments and fears?

5. Acting. What are your intentions? What action are you taking? Is it sourced in fear or love? Become aware of your actions today. Is fear dictating your movements, or does love guide your steps?


I AM healing the separation in the world through the transformation of my own shadow and fear.

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I'm Me!