• Mon. Dec 4th, 2023

dogs and hell…

Jan 28, 2008

Update below original post….

Thorik’s dog attacked my cat last night. Again.
I’ve had enough.. the dog must go.

Thorik is upset.. (understandably, but he was supposed to find the dog a new home before he even moved here)..

I get input from Aphrodite. In so many ways, she thinks, he sees me as trying to change him. I don’t feel like I’m trying to change him, but perhaps I am.. I dunno. I’m goin on 40. I’m set in my ways.

I told him in the beginning that the wisest choice would be for him to get his own place and we could slowly get to know each other, without the thrown into living situation right away. Then, when he didn’t seem to want to do that, and actually protested against the idea, I agreed to let him move in. At first, he was supposed to take the basement… but then, after Samhain, I figured it would all be okay.

He’s upset, supposedly, because the dog is the only thing left that is “his”. Well, my response is, when he starts paying half the bills on the house, the house will be half his!! I dunno.

And then, Aphrodite and I were talkin about his wardrobe. I only ask for a few things that are nice looking. In this world, how one presents themselves is so important. I’m certain we can find some clothing that we can both agree on, but Aphrodite does not think that will happen. I’m “trying to change him again.” By wanting him to have nicer clothes???? A nice, soft, cuddly, professional shirt is going to change him?!?!? WTF?

I told Aphrodite “I’m not gonna change from the woman I am because of a boy like him or for anyone. Ever. Again.”

Yeah.. I’m PMSing, go figure.. but jeez…

Of course, none of this is coming out of HIS mouth. If he feels that he needs Aphrodite to mediate and share his thoughts with me, we are already screwed. I will not function like that.

I’ve been told I am a strong woman and that that frightens men. Yeah. Perhaps. But Thorik said it wouldn’t and didn’t scare him. But now I wonder.. maybe it isn’t fear, it is more that he isn’t in control. Yeah. I like control. But I respect someone who has control of their own life. I haven’t seen that yet with Thorik. Maybe I am trying to control him since he doesn’t seem to be able to take care of things himself. I didn’t think so.. at least…

There have been other things.. so many things that he needs to do or could have done. Responsibilities… things with his step-daughter… No… I don’t understand the way his mind works, currently. I don’t understand anything. Aphrodite may be giving me possible insights, but until I hear things from him, they are just possibilities.. not real… because his concerns, his wants, his desires, his thoughts, need to come from HIM. And that is what I will wait for.

Question is.. will he share?

*sad sighs*

Actually talked to Thorik. He has told me he is not upset with me at all. He’s upset that the dog messed up a good thing and is generally upset with the dog… not with me! :)

At lunch he said things between him and I are fine.. no problems! :) He’s still happy to be here and be with me… so I over-reacted. (PMS does that.. hmm…) I must remember that Aphrodite remembers the old Thorik, not this new one, which is why I have my policy of hearing what comes out of his mouth. She gives me insights, but I must continue to hear his thoughts from him and no one else…

So, I am much calmer, much happier with the world..
All will be well and all manner of things will be well.
It is still a learning time….
And I still love him! :) That’s not going to change!

And love her too! I just must remember that everyone has changed and is changing… I will take things with a grain of salt more… and discuss things with him before reacting.. not that I won’t react, but… I can handle things better.. I’m a different person than I used to be to! I’m going to make this relationship work!!! :)


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