or maybe I just was too uncomfortable to feel anything when I spent Friday night at Tracy’s so that my son could spend time with his siblings. Either way, it’s done. I won’t be doing it again. Not the full night. I would never have done it if my sister hadn’t been there… *sigh*
Either way, there was no anger that night… sadness. Pity. Fear. Discomfort. Pain. Worry. but no anger. I can’t believe I spent another night in that house. The memories tried to kill me. I don’t think I slept, or if I did, it wasn’t much.
She did have anger and resentment. That house is still covered in a black cloud… evil.. darkness.. she needs to get the hell out of there and that house should be burned. Then she may be able to move on with her life… until then… I fear for her sanity and I fear for the safety and health of her children…
Demolishing Anger’s Walls
Anger, when channeled into the pursuit of change, can be a useful tool in our emotional palette. Anger is experienced by most people, some more than others. It is when anger has no outlet and morphs into resentment that it carries with it the potential to cause great turmoil. Allowing us to assign blame for the pain we are feeling, thereby easing it, resentment tends to smolder relentlessly just below the surface of our awareness, eroding our peace of mind. The target of our resentment grows ever more wicked in our minds and we rue the day we first encountered them. But resentment is merely another hue on the emotional palette and therefore within the realm of our conscious control. We can choose to let go of our resentment and to move on with our lives, no matter how painful the event that incited it.
Hanging onto resentment in our hearts does not serve us in any way. Successfully divesting ourselves of resentful feelings can be difficult, however, because doing so forces us to mentally and emotionally confront the original source of anger. When we cease assigning blame, we realize that our need to hold someone or something responsible for our feelings has harmed us. We thought we were coping with our hurt when in fact we were holding onto that hurt with a vice grip. To release resentment, we must shift our attention from those we resent back toward ourselves by thinking of our own needs. Performing a short ceremony can help you quell resentful feelings by giving tangible form to your emotions. You may want to write down your feelings and then burn the paper and close your ceremony by wishing them well. When you can find compassion in your heart, you know you are on your way to healing.
Free of resentment, we have much more energy and attention to devote to our personal development. We can fill the spaces it left behind with unconditional acceptance and joy. And, as a result of our subsequent freedom from resentment, blessings can once again enter our lives as the walls we built to contain our anger have been demolished.