No Wrong Response
Experiences Shape Your Reactions
Our view of the universe is largely determined by our experiences. It is when we are caught off guard by the spontaneity of existence that we are most apt to respond authentically, even when our feelings do not correspond with those of the multitude. Events that arouse strong emotions with us or are surprising in nature can be disquieting, for it often is in their aftermath that we discover how profoundly our histories have shaped us. The differences that divide us from our peers are highlighted in our reactions when these diverge from the mainstream, and this can be highly upsetting because it forces us to confront the uniqueness of our lives.
When our response to unexpected news or startling ideas is not the same as that of the people around us, we may feel driven by a desire to dismiss our feelings as irrational or incorrect. But reactions themselves are neither right, nor wrong. The forces that sculpted the patterns that to a large extent dictate our development are not the same forces that shaped the development of our relatives, friends, colleagues, or neighbors. There is no reason to believe that one person’s reaction to a particular event is somehow more valid than another’s. How we respond to the constant changes taking place in the world around us is a product of our history, a testament to our individuality, and a part of the healing process that allows us to address key elements of our past in a context we can grasp in the present.
Life’s pivotal events can provide you with a way to define yourself as a unique and matchless being, but you must put aside the judgments that might otherwise prevent you from gaining insight into your distinct mode of interpreting the world. Try to internalize your feelings without categorizing or evaluating them. When you feel unsure of the legitimacy of your reactions, remember that cultural, sociological, spiritual, and familial differences can cause two people to interpret a single event in widely dissimilar ways. Examining your responses outside of the context provided by others can show you that your emotional complexity is something to be valued, for it has made you who you are today.
I have sen this … with Tracy especially.. she interprets things differently. I often say it’s lies, but I suppose it is possible that that is how she interpets it, therefore, it does not make it a lie. She also remembers things differently. It’s rather scary that it is a natural and regular occurance for people to interpret a single event in widely dissimalr ways. *sigh*
So, I guess that leaves the question.. who’s right and who’s wrong? And why?
Which also leaves me to wonder, how much of life and experiences IS creating our own reality as What the Bleep suggests. There wouldn’t be a right or wrong.. which would make things really interesting.. and would also seriously confuse the court of law and such. If everyone in the world started realizing these things.. what kind of world would this be? What all would change? Would it totally re-define good and evil?
There is much to think about…
One thought on “Another aspect that makes us all diferent and unique…”
From a friend…
Ok – before we get started again I want to tell something true:
I love you just the way you are. All your sweetness, all your fuck-ups, all your spirituality, all of you. Got it? Good
Now here we go.
You have a huge investment in being a “good” person. You have a huge investment in being a person who is “fair” to others.
Nothing wrong or right about those ways of thinking about yourself. It just is.
After your Ex’s Ex lies to you son’s teachers, makes him call her Mom and manages to keep you away from him and his school, you come close to “defending” her actions. You talk about how maybe she just sees the world differently and so no one is right or wrong and no one is good or evil.
That is your way of showing that you are the better person. But it stinks, because that is not the only feelings and thoughts that you have. The ones you don’t like, you bury. And that my dear is what’s bothering you.
All that mind farting is you intellectualizing the situation. By substituting the intellectual, rational thoughts, you can avoid acknowledging and accepting the other feelings and thoughts you are having. Why would you do that? Because these other feelings and thoughts you have don’t fit comfortably with your self image of the good and fair lady Em!
I don’t know what thoughts/feelings you are shoving down. I do know what I would be thinking and feeling.
I would be feeling hurt. Hurt that my Ex could ALLOW this women to alienate me from my son. I would be feeling angry. Angry that this LYING BITCH wrecked my relationships with two of the most important people in my life.
Angry that she ruined my reputation with the school community and other people whose respect I cherish.
Let it out Em. You ARE a wonderful, sweet, loving person. That doesn’t mean you can’t get mad, feel wronged and want to rip someones head off!