• Fri. Apr 12th, 2024

Hunk o burning rage

I am slowly discovering that I keep inside a burning rage.
I don’t know what it is and I don’t know what it’s from or what’s causing it.

How do I discover what is behind this rage?

Now, a bit of back story.
I went to one of the presentations at Mind Body Spirit a few years back and the blindfolded psychic pulled my “id” out of a hat.
The first thing she asked me is why I was so mad, so furious, so much rage.
I denied it, saying I wasn’t mad.

I know I have anger management issues, but I’m so much better… however..

My quest from Women’s Mysteries at HPF last year was “Dare to look into the face of Medusa”
It took me nearly a year to figure out, Medusa is me!

My boss told me on the same day that I discovered the Medusa connection that I need to stop being so defensive and getting so angry.

I don’t feel angry all the time. I get angry about something (idiot drivers, cats knocking over trash can, raccoon in the kitchen) I take care of it or remove myself from the situation and then I’m done.

But now I’m doubting that. Too many nudges from the universe is asking me to look inward and discover and understand this rage.

I feel lost and confused. I have high happy moments, like yesterday with the Rainbow House here in Topeka, and a co-worker indirectly acknowledging my belief system by sharing some very valuable links. Then I have sad moments, usually something someone else is suffering through. And I have angry moments, other cars, boss not listening to me, etc.

I have felt, of late, that the negative feelings are being felt, acknowledged and released… but I am now thinking that there is something I am missing or the nudges wouldn’t be pointing me towards my “rage” ….

This is where I fear that I will be told to look back to my childhood.
I wasn’t angry as a child.
As a teen, I was angry… but my Mom and I had some good healing a couple years back and it feels so much better between us.

I don’t have regrets. I wouldn’t be who I am without my experiences…

What am I missing? What do I need to learn about myself to understand this “rage” … .or am I even looking in the right direction?

LOL and *sigh*
This got long.. sorry.. and thanks for listening!!

I have no idea where to start.. any suggestions?


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