• Thu. Dec 7th, 2023

Mourning those gone but not dead

Read this on FB today: (my thoughts follow)

Thinking about… Grieving the undead.

You aren’t dead, but you’re moving 12 hours away.

You aren’t dead, but you’re leaving our friend group.

You aren’t dead but you’ve moved to a different state and now we text twice a year.

You aren’t dead but you blocked me.

You aren’t dead but we stopped talking, not on purpose but so long ago that I wouldn’t even know what to say to you now.

You aren’t dead but you’re a stranger to me now.

You aren’t dead but we lost touch and now I don’t even remember your username.

You aren’t dead but I ended things with you and now we never speak.

You aren’t dead but I still have to grieve you. Whether I’d change it if I could or not, you’re still a presence that I’m used to and now you won’t be there anymore.

And so I grieve.

What does that make me since I do not let go.
I refuse.
If I have any choice in the matter, I will email once or twice a year.
Am I putting off the grieving?
Am I clinging to the past?

I was just mentioning to some mutual friends how Mike E blocked me from his life.
And it didn’t hurt as much saying it.
So yes, I was force to grieve that friendship but it was his choice.
Ronny Blackburn’s death was hard…
but it also brought back some old friends and even some new (his brother)
FB has changed so much that we can almost still feel like we are part of their lives even though we are no longer as close physically. The internet does away with the distance aspect.
Even those not on FB I reach out to occasionally, just random, hey, how ya doin.
They respond sometimes..
And other times they do not.
Then there’s my first ex.. yeah, I let him drop out of my life.. but I never wanted him back in my life. His kids, however, were a different story. I suppose I need to grieve them, to let go, to forgive myself.
The words on this meme are great but they are not fully reflective of today’s world or our choices.

They key here, I think, is that sometimes we do need to grieve the living
And that’s okay.


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