Now it is time for me to revisit something I have to forgive someone for.
Does this stem from a need to judge? What do I need to forgive them for? I don’t know. This is a tough question.
It’s singular, but I think I have much more than that to forgive.
I need to forgive my mother for choosing my friends. I need to forgive her for not liking my true friends. This is tough. This is part of my current healing. I love the synchronicity of that.
I also need to forgive the Tracy-bitch for ruining what could have been a wonderful thing. She, in the process, betrayed my love and my trust. That will take a while. She also forced my son to call her mother. I’m still unable to forgive her that either.
I also need to forgive those people in high school, those so-called friends who hurt me. Made fun of me, made me a horrible cake, lied to me, betrayed me, told lies, created rumors and basically destroyed any normal high school life I might have had. The guys in the boy’s home were true because they had nothing to lose. They were themselves. My true friends were also themselves. No one tried or had to be anything else.
Fake friends, they hurt me. They lied to me. It still haunts me. I won’t list them. I already know they do not remember it.
That’s the weird part.
My mom. She doesn’t remember it that way.
The Tracy-bitch? She doesn’t remember it that way (well, except the calling her Mom part)
My peers? They don’t remember it that way.
What does that mean?